TBR is Book Riot’s subscription service offering Tailored Book Recommendations for readers of all stripes. Been dreaming of a “Stitch Fix for books?” Now it’s here! Tell TBR about your reading preferences and what you’re looking for, and sit back while your Bibliologist handpicks recommendations just for you. TBR offers plans to receive hardcover books in the mail or recommendations by email, so there’s an option for every budget. TBR is also available as a gift to give to the readers in your life! Visit mytbr.co to sign up today. Hey there, reader! If you’re one of my trans, nonbinary, or in any way gender-nonconforming siblings: a joyful welcome and familiar smile to you. I am so happy you’re here. Read on, and feel free to skip ahead to the list of book recommendations if now isn’t a good time for you to read about things like dysphoria or transphobia. May you find absolutely everything you’re looking for. If you’re a cis person: a warm welcome to you, too! I’m equally delighted you’re here, but not for exactly the same reasons. I think it’s worth letting you know why it means so much to me that you’re seeking out romance stories by and about trans folks. Here goes. There’s this idea (an idea that’s both prevalent and harmful, in both trans and cis communities) that in order to be trans/nonbinary “enough,” you need to experience gender dysphoria: “psychological distress that results from an incongruence between one’s sex assigned at birth and one’s gender identity,” according to the American Psychiatric Association. Gender dysphoria is real, and it’s agonizing, and yes, many trans/nonbinary folks grapple with it—sometimes to a debilitating degree. But some of us experience dysphoria’s ecstatic twin, gender euphoria: the bliss that can result when you or someone else treats your gender with affirmation as opposed to dismissiveness. Some of us experience something much less consuming that I can best verbalize as “gender puzzlement”: we just don’t quite get why people keep using words like “boy” or “girl” to describe us, because it seems obvious to us that we’re the opposite, a combination, or none of the above. Some of us—probably most of us—experience a wide range of these, and more. And each of us gets to figure out on our own, based on these and countless other factors, what words describe our gender best. Yet however we experience the clash between the gender that’s ours and the gender imposed upon us, what most of us feel after we identify that clash is much easier to name: It’s fear. Fear that, tragically, is justified. Fear that even if a new revelation about your gender brings you an alleviation of dysphoria, a joyful rush of euphoria, or simply peace, it might cause other people to treat you cruelly. People like your family; people like strangers; and people like romantic partners. That’s where trans/nonbinary romance comes in. For better or for worse, you live in a transphobic society where the hateful narrative that trans/nonbinary individuals make undesirable romantic partners is insidious and inescapable. So one of the best imaginable ways to support trans/nonbinary folks is to expose yourself to the alternative narrative: the one where a trans/nonbinary person gets to be a romantic hero. By all means, educate yourself about institutionalized transphobia—but don’t stop there. Join us, too, in celebrating the stories of characters of all genders who get the love they deserve. Here are a few great titles to get you started on this task of the 2021 Read Harder Challenge. Their Troublesome Crush is representative of the tender relationships and diverse characters that characterize Alexander’s bibliography as a whole. It also happens to be my own favorite kind of love story: a metamours-to-paramours tale. Ernest and Nora are both already in a polyamorous relationship with Gideon when they develop romantic feelings for each other. They navigate their mutual crush while working together to throw Gideon the best birthday party ever. Loving Gideon is what first connects Ernest and Nora; but they develop a love all their own, too.
